


Scared Of Falling, Afraid Of Failing

by B_Rabbit14



Series: Hunter x Hunter works by B_Rabbit14 [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Can be seen as preslash, Depends on how you look at it, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Take it as you will, Wing AU, or romantical, platonic Killugon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Rabbit14/pseuds/B_Rabbit14
Summary: Gon had always been a little strange to Killua, in more ways than others. The way he always found a reason to smile even if the odds weren't in his favor, or how he insisted being Killua's friend no matter what. Though things weren't quite as strange as the seemingly innocent question Gon asked him during the Hunter's Exam when they had been stuck in that room, Gon had been staring over at Leorio while the older male was brushing out the knots in his grey wings. The look in his eyes wasn't exactly sad per se but Killua could tell something was bothering him, then without averting his sudden stony gaze he quietly asked him."Hey, Killua?" The snowy-haired preteen hummed in response. "What's it like to fly?""What kind of question is that?"
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Mito Freecs
Series: Hunter x Hunter works by B_Rabbit14 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903207
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Scared Of Falling, Afraid Of Failing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MoonyEater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonyEater/gifts).



> So, I've fallen down the hellhole known as Hunter X Hunter... Do I regret it? Nope! Anyways, this is something I thought about writing once I started getting into the series and I hope you like it. I'm pretty proud of how this turned out and I hope you guys like it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> On the other hand this is a gift to one of my very good friends who is partially responsible for the emotional trauma I received by getting into this series as she insisted along with my older sister that I watch it, well I did. And you know what happened? My heart was run into the ground and ran over by all those people taking the Hunter Exam. I want to punch my past self for ever thinking this series is boring.
> 
> Also this can be seen as gay or nah so take it as you will peeps.

Gon had always been a little strange to Killua, in more ways than others. The way he always found a reason to smile even if the odds weren't in his favor, or how he insisted being Killua's friend no matter what. Though things weren't quite as strange as the seemingly innocent question Gon asked him during the Hunter's Exam when they had been stuck in that room, Gon had been staring over at Leorio while the older male was brushing out the knots in his grey wings. The look in his eyes wasn't exactly sad per se but Killua could tell something was bothering him, then without averting his sudden stony gaze he quietly asked him.

"Hey, Killua?" The snowy-haired preteen hummed in response. "What's it like to fly?"

Killua blinked once in silent confusion before he turned to fully look at the other. Gon had yet to look at him and continued to stare across the room, his hands still gripped the metal fishing pole the two of them had been playing moments before Gon's mood had shifted suddenly. Killua didn't know what to make of the question, his first thought was that gon might be one of those few people who were born without wings. As rare as that was it wasn't impossible, even so, the thought saddened the assassin.

"What kind of question is that?" Killua avoided answering. "How should I know?" He decided on saying after a few minutes of silence, Gon finally looked at him after those words left his lips. His amber eyes stared intensely into Killua's blue ones before he flashed the other a bright smile, his previous bought of sadness forgotten for now.

"I guess that makes us the same," The now chipper boy said and leaned back against the couch the two had been sitting on. Again, Killua was left more confused than ever but couldn't find it in himself to ask Gon to explain. Instead, he only shrugged and huffed in annoyance as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back as well.

* * *

"He asked you that too?" Leorio asked with raised brows as he looked down at Killua who sat on the wooden floor of the ship's deck. They were now on their way to the fourth part of the Exam, Gon was currently stressing over how to deal with Hisoka as he was his target so Killua decided to use this as an opportunity to ask Kurapika and Leorio if Gon had said anything strange to them as he had with him earlier. 

"Wait, what do you mean 'asked me too'?" Killua asked with a frown that seemed to deepen the more confused he became.

"He had asked us a similar question during the first phase of the exam," Kurapika explained with a slight gesture of his hand.

"I didn't get it at the time but I guessed that he asked because he can't fly himself," Leorio stated with a frown of his own.

"We don't know for sure if that is his reason for asking such a thing, and I don't think it is our place to ask," Kurapika advised with a pointed finger and Killua nodded in agreement.

"Makes sense," Killua replied as he folded his arms behind his head with a sigh. "Though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious," To say he was curious was an understatement, Gon was already a confusing puzzle considering how he acts in general but this just added on to the growing lists of things Killua thought made Gon weird. "What did you guys say?" He asked after a small moment of silence.

"Huh?" Leorio replied with confusion swirling in his eyes.

"When he asked you guys what it was like to fly?" Killua explained with a sigh.

"I simply told him I wasn't very fond of depending on my wings for enjoyment," Kurapika answered and Killua snorted under his breath, he had been expecting the blond to say something like that.

"Okay," Killua hummed and looked to Leorio next. "What about you?" Leorio scowled and looked away as if embarrassed making Killua raise a brow and smirk at his reaction.

"I told him it felt like I left all my problems behind on the ground every time I took off," The older male muttered with a light blush dusting across his cheeks. Killua was silent for a moment as he let his words sink in before snickering behind his hand.

"Of course you would say something so cheesy," The young male remarked smartly with a wide grin matching that of the Chesire Cat. 

"Shut up!" Leorio sputtered wildly and thrust a pointed finger down at the seated male. "Since you're interrogating us, why don't you tell us what you said?!" Killua stared at him for a moment before he standing up and walking past him.

"Pass," He drawled with a lazy wave and left Leorio stammering angrily about kids having no respect. Killua ignored him in favor of taking a seat next to an oddly quiet Gon, the dark-haired boy looked up and flashed Killua a welcoming smile as he sat down next to him to which Killua returned with a small nod.

* * *

Killua glanced over at Gon who was sitting on the other side of the fire they had started a few minutes prior. Gon was staring thoughtfully up at the stars while hugging his knees close to his chest and was being uncharacteristically quiet. Killua wanted to think it was because of the relaxing atmosphere that had befallen them after a long day of the other showing him around his home island but Gon had been pretty quiet following the conversation regarding his parents and aunt. Gon didn't seem to mind answering Killua's questions which hopefully meant that he hadn't overstepped in any way.

"Hey, Gon?" Killua called quietly hesitant to break the calm air surrounding them, Gon blinked once before turning to his friend. Killua took a deep breath and seemed to hesitate once more causing Gon to frown slightly. In the entire time he had gotten to know the other male Killua had proven to be blunt and not care for the effects of his words. Seeing Killua hesitate before his very eyes put him slightly on edge but he continued to wait patiently for the other boy to gather his thoughts.

Killua had good reason to hesitate. When he had first met Gon his curiosity had already been peaked. The other boy had seemed like a strange puzzle, one that he was determined to solve. When Gon had asked him that question his curiosity sky-rocketed. He had been meaning to ask the reason behind Gon's strange question but it had never been the right time to do so. And now, here was a perfect opportunity but he couldn't bring himself to ask about it, it suddenly felt wrong to do so.

Killua trusted gon, more than he had ever trusted anyone. He knew by asking Gon this he could be prying into something very personal, normally that wouldn't stop him. This proved to be different. Gon was Killua's first friend, he friend he didn't want to lose. He was going to have to be very careful with how he went about doing this.

"Do you not have wings?" He asked slowly and watched for any changes in Gon's expression. The other seemed to stare at him with his normal big eyes in silence. Killua hated how anxious he felt as he waited for his friend's response. Gon sighed heavily after what felt like forever and pointed to the scar on his right shoulder blade. It was normally covered by his green jacket but Killua noticed he didn't seem to mind if it showed when he took the jacket off. Killua stared at it in silent confusion before his eyes widened just as Gon opened his mouth to speak but was eventually cut off by Killua.

"They got cut off?!" He exclaimed loudly. Sure he had been through plenty of torture methods but cutting off someone's wings was just horrible. After all, a person's wings were believed to be a part of their soul. Their appearance reflected one's heart, but Killua thought that part was bogus.

Gon's eyes widened as Killua's question registered in his head. He let out a small laugh and shook his head in answer.

"No, no, I got that scar from trying to fly," Gon moved on to explain before Killua could make any more wild assumptions. "I have wings, I just can't fly with them," He continued and rolled his right shoulder before laying back and continuing his stargazing. "There's nothing wrong with them, but for some reason, I can't fly,"

Killua frowned and stared at Gon in great confusion. That didn't make any sense. If Gon's wings were as strong as he was at his best then they should be more than enough to lift him into the air.

"What about you?" Gon suddenly asked startling his friend and tearing him from his musings.

"What about me?"

"You're the only one who's ever deflected my question," Gon lifted himself from the ground and held himself on one elbow. His wide brown eyes seemed to stare deep into Killua as his friend thought about how he should answer. The white-haired boy scowled and looked away from Gon while he hugged his knees to his chest. Gon frowned worriedly at his friend's actions but didn't comment and waited silently.

"I don't like my wings, okay?" He spat, but he wasn't angry at Gon who thankfully didn't react to his change in tone.

"And why is that?" Gon pressed, it was only fair. After all, Killua was just digging around in the other's business a few seconds ago.

Killua groaned loudly and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. He's never been good at feelings. Why did it have to be so hard? He rested his forehead against his knees so he wouldn't have to look at Gon anymore. Behind him, he felt and heard the resulting of the fabric of his tank top as it was pushed out of the way. He heard Gon gasp softly and could feel him staring at his back. Killua pulled his knees closer to himself and curled into himself more, he felt so vulnerable doing this and he hated it. But if he was going to try and figure out why Gon couldn't fly he needed to do this, it was only fair.

Gon stared in shock as Killua unfurled his wings silently. He hadn't expected his friend to do something like this. Gon knew how much wings meant to their owners, despite them being strong and sturdy enough to lift them their wings were quite fragile and if bent a certain way would break very easily. Killua's wings were quite large in wingspan as he noticed when his friend stretched them out momentarily before letting them fold naturally against his back. The feathers were a snowy white just like his hair and Gon found himself captivated by the sight of them. The feathers were ruffled and some were frayed and knotted together but despite their messy appearance Gon thought they were beautiful.

"My mom says because my wings are white that I must have been an angel sent to her from above," Killua scoffed softly. Gon didn't dare speak in fear of making Killua stop. "I hate it when she says stuff like that, I'm definitely not an angel. I've killed people before, and part of me doesn't even regret it but that isn't the point," Killua raised his head and looked to the sky.

"I hate being told what I have to be or what I have to do," He muttered. Gon leaned forward as his friend continued to speak. "My wings feel like a stupid mask, the second anyone sees them they instantly think I'm a good person. Like I'm some saint, I hate it," The young ex-assassin turned his gaze to the other male. "It sounds stupid but that's why I don't use them or show them to anybody..." He whispered as he glared at the floor. Gon stared at his friend silently before inhaling through his nose.

"Why are you showing them to me then?"

Killua didn't look up from the ground and pondered the question for a moment.

"I... don't really know," He answered truthfully. Gon nodded deciding it was best not to press any further. Killua looked up at the other and bit the inside of his cheek slightly frustrated with himself. He sighed and lowered his knees as he shifted his legs into a crisscrossed position. Killua leaned back using his hands to support him and let his head hand back. "I guess it's because it seems fair," Finally decided on saying.

"What do you mean?" Gon questioned with a slight tilt of his head.

"Well, here I am trying to get you to spew out your depressing trauma it's only fair I throw in some as well..." Killua grumbled out. Gon placed a finger on his cheek and thought for a moment, then he turned to face the edge of the cliff. He peeked at his friend from the corner of his eye before he closed them and took a deep breath to steady himself. He felt his hands trembling and clenched them into fists before exhaling roughly. Killua caught on to what Gon was about to do and noticed how hesitant he was to go through with it.

"Gon, you don't have-" He was cut off by the sound of rustling fabric and bit his tongue to keep from saying more. He watched Gon's expression carefully not caring to look at his back just yet. Gon stared straight ahead with a determined glint in his amber eyes and his jaw clenched. When Killua was determined Gon wasn't planning on backing out he allowed his gaze to drift to the young Hunter's back.

Upon his friends back sat two large golden brown wings that were folded neatly and fell partially onto the ground behind him. Like Killua's own, Gon's feathers were ruffled and tangled and looked as if he hadn't groomed them in ages. The fire cast a light glow onto them showing that despite their messy appearance the feathers were quite shiny.

"I haven't looked at them since the day I fell," Gon whispered. "I guess I've been too afraid..." He chuckled humorlessly.

"Gon..." Killua wanted to comfort him as he clearly needed it but didn't know how to do so. He ruffled his hair angrily at his incompetence to help his friend.

"Aunt Mito thought it was time I learned how to fly so she gave me the okay and I went for it..." Gon closed his eyes.

_ The wind whirled around his small body as he watched the ground get closer and closer... _

"She was so sure I could do it so she stood back and let me jump and I-"

_ "Aunt Mito!" _

_ "Gon!" _

He cut off sharply and clenched his fist at the memory. Killua looked on with a deep frown, the more he found out the more it only confused him.

"I fell and... Aunt Mito wasn't quick enough to catch me," Gon continued while his eyes stayed closed. "She blames herself for it, but it wasn't her fault. She couldn't have known that I wouldn't be able to fly," Gon sighed and finally opened his eyes. He gestured to his scar again. "I landed on my arm and cut it pretty badly on a nearby rock, I don't remember much after I crashed. I think I might've passed out.

When I woke up I was in my bed and covered in bandages while Aunt Mito was sitting next to me and holding my hand..." Gon shook his head trying to rid himself of the memory. "She kept apologizing... over and over again..." Gon wrapped himself up in his wings as a nearby breeze began to pick up.

A moment of silence passed before Killua suddenly stood up and marched over where Gon sat and plopped onto the ground again right behind him.

"Killua...?" Gon began to turn but froze when he felt his friend's fingers begin to card through his feathers.

"They look like they've been dragged through hell and back. When's the last time you groomed them? Geez..." Killua grumbled as he picked through the knots and tangles. Gon seemed to unfreeze the second Killua spoke and struggled to face him but the ex-assassin grabbed his shoulders and held him in place. "Hold still," He ordered. Gon froze again but relaxed slightly this time.

"What are you doing?" Gon asked confused by his friend's sudden actions.

"Grooming your wings, what does it look like?" He responded not taking his eyes off Gon's wings.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Gon crossed his arms and huffed in defeat as Killua continued working on his wings. It felt strange to him, the feeling of someone's fingers gently sifting through his feathers. Not to mention Killua of all people doing it. Gon knew he wasn't a bad guy and often was the on to insist such but he certainly didn't expect Killua to be the type to willingly do such a thing.

Killua hadn't expected gon to easily allow him to continue. Allowing another to touch one's wings isn't possible without an extensive amount of trust. He decided that it felt nice, to be trusted by someone wasn't something he thought would ever be possible. He had also thought to have a friend was impossible as well, but here he was sitting with one right now. Gon didn't fear him as other people did, he respected though not as an underling but as an equal. He didn't care about Killua's past or his family, all that mattered to him was that Killua was his friend.

Gon closed his eyes and found himself relaxing under the other's touch, he vaguely was reminded of the times when his aunt would do the same thing for him when he was younger and had spent the entire day playing in the forest. He would come back with his clothes and wings covered in dirt and grime, Mito would laugh and help him into the bath, afterward, she would towel him off and knead through his feathers as his wings dried off. It always felt nice.

"There, I'm all done," Killua suddenly announced causing Gon to open his eyes and turn to him curiously. Gon looked at his wings for the first time in years. He didn't remember them being so large. He stood up and slowly extended them to their full length and gave two small flaps ha stretched the stiff muscles. Killua leaned back and seemed to admire his work with a sense of pride.

"Now they actually look like wings," He snarked, Gon glared weakly at him in reply before stomping around Killua and settling on the ground behind him.

"Well, now it's my turn!" he exclaimed and reached out to touch Killua's wings but before his fingertips could come in contact with the snowy feathers Killua turned to quickly face him. Gon stared back at him innocently. "It's only fair," He pointed out again as he grabbed the other's shoulders and turned him around. He didn't move to touch his friend's wings until Killua managed to relax, when he did Gon nodded and got to work.

The young Hunter made sure to move slowly and carefully as to not startle his friend. He sifted through the feathers working hard to brush them out and smooth them down.

"Geez, and you said my wings looked bad..." Gon commented softly when he came across a particularly bad knot. Killua scoffed quietly and crossed his arms.

"That's because they did," He retorted, Gon frowned and playfully shoved the other male's shoulder.

"Not as bad as your's,"

"At least mine didn't look like mangy cats stuck to my shoulders," Killua remarked weakly. Gon gasped dramatically and placed a hand on his chest.

"They didn't look like that!" He cried while Killua chuckled. There was a short beat of silence and Gon's fingers paused momentarily. "Did they really?"

Killua blinked once before falling into a loud fit of laughter, soon enough he was bent over clutching his middle and gasping for breath. Gon jumped in surprise before joining in and howling with laughter as well. The two boys were eventually reduced to rolling on the ground laughing unrestrained, there wasn't any particular reason for doing so but either way it felt nice. 

Once the laughter died down a comfortable stillness befell upon them, they were still on the ground with their limbs and wings spread out. Neither one of them thought to tuck them away, they didn't see a reason to do so.

"I'm sorry... uh, about your fall," Killua mumbled quietly but his words reached Gon with little difficulty. Gon smiled and turned his head to look at his friend.

"It's fine, it wasn't your fault anyway..." He reassured with a shake of his head. "I'm sorry your mom says those things to you all the time," Now it was Killua's turn to shake his head.

"Don't worry about it, it's not like you can control what she says," He replied waving his head lazily and turning back to the stars. Gon nodded and hummed quietly.

* * *

Mito had been curious as to what the boys had been up to these past few weeks. Every morning without fail, Killua would drag her nephew out the door the second they finished their breakfast. Gon didn't seem to mind only looking slightly exasperated at the most and would let Killua herd him out the door and into the forest. They would stay out there all day which by itself isn't abnormal and would return shortly before sunset looking sweaty but otherwise relatively clean with their hair looking drastically windswept as if they had stuck their heads outside the window of a speeding car. Mito would send them to bathe nonetheless and asked them once they had finished what it was that they had been up to all day. Their reply was always the same, they would share a glance before waving her off and saying they had only been playing. She had no reason to not believe them but Mito couldn't help it when her curiosity peaked.

Soon after they both finished eating Gon would hug her and bid her goodnight before leading Killua upstairs to his room. 

Some nights when she passed her nephew's room she would hear the two of them talking. Some nights they would be snickering quietly at some joke one of them had made while other nights she could only catch certain mumbles as they spoke in serious tones over something important. On rare occasions, it would be perfectly silent with only the sound of their soft snore filling the room.

Tonight proved to be one of those nights. Mito gently placed an ear against the wooden door listening in case they could be awake despite her assumption of them being asleep. When she deemed it safe she carefully opened the door to take a peek inside. The sight she was met with brought a smile to her face.

Sprawled out on the floor was both Gon and Killua, it looked as if they both had been too tired to make it onto their beds. What shocked her though was the sight of Gon's wings unfurled completely for the first time in seven years. His left wing was flopped over his chest as a makeshift blanket while his right one was covering Killua partially. Killua had his wings out as well, which was a surprise in its way as Mito hadn't had the chance to see them yet. She had assumed he didn't like using them like Gon didn't and had left it at that. Killua's wings were stretched wide like the rest of his limbs and he groaned quietly when gon shifted and stuck his foot on his face. His left wing seemed to be stuck underneath Gon and curled slightly around his torso causing Mito to smile at the cute sight.

Her smiled dimmed as she began to remember when Gon had first begun to hide his wings. It had been a few days after his accident.

_ "There we go," Mito sighed as she pulled Gon out of the tub, she then went to work on placing new bandages on his still-healing wound. She toweled the young toddler off and then looked expectantly at his so he could unfurl his wings so she could dry those off as well. Gon wasn't looking at her though and seemed to be staring at the ground while fiddling with his fingers so Mito cleared her throat causing the young child to jump and look up at her with wide eyes. Mito's gaze softened and she smiled at her surrogate son. "I need to dry your wings," The young woman spoke softly. _

_ Gon's eyes widened as realization dawned on him before he shook his head fervently much to his guardian's confusion. _

_ "Gon..?" She called quietly and the small male jutted out his bottom lip and looked away from her. "Can you show me your wings?" Mito asked gently. Gon squeezed his eye shut and clenched his tiny fists as small sobs began to rack throughout his body. At that point, Mito's motherly instincts kicked in prompting her to pick up the small child and wrap her arms around his quivering form. She began to whisper soothing words into his ear as he grasped onto her dress and sobbed quietly into her shoulder. _

_ Mito never asked him to show him his wings to her again. _

Mito was brought out of her reminiscing when Gon let out a low groan and curled into himself shivering slightly. She shook her head and smiled fondly as she made her way into the room and towards Gon's bed and grabbed two blankets. She then turned back to the two boys and covered both of them gently as to not wake them. Mito stood straight and lovingly gazed at her nephew, he had grown so much in the months he was away from home. 

Mito had been shocked to see him come home with a friend, Killua was a nice boy and seemed to get along well with Gon from what she had seen so far. She knew despite his protests Gon had been a bit lonely being one of the few children on Whale Island and yearned for a friend his age. If she knew how much letting him go would've benefitted him, in the long run, she wouldn't have been as hesitant to send him on his way. Killua had proven to be the friend Gon needed, she smiled to herself as she moved to the door. Mito mentally reminded herself to thank the young male when she got the chance.

The bedroom door shut with a soft click and Killua sat up while pushing Gon's foot off of him. He had woken up the moment he sensed Mito behind gon's bedroom door, it was a habit of his to remain on alert in the case someone approached him whilst he slept. He had pretended to be asleep when he realized that it was only Mito and not a threat as he had assumed it to be but nearly jumped out of his skin when the woman had suddenly draped a blanket over him. Using the reflective surface of a picture frame had on the wall directly he observed the elder female as she gazed lovingly at Gon's sleeping form before moving on to look at himself. It was then that Killua realized his wings had somehow unfurled in his sleep and she was staring at them, he was about to pull them back into himself but realized he couldn't when he noticed one of them was trapped underneath Gon's weight.

Killua managed to contain his inner panic until Mito decided to leave. He almost didn't notice her outside the bedroom door which was proof enough that he had gotten too comfortable staying in the Freecs' home. Killua wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Either way, he didn't like it.

A small mumble made the white-haired boy glance at his companion, he shook his head as he realized they had been so that the second the door had closed behind them they collapsed from exhaustion. Killua's eyes roamed over to his trapped wing that gon was laying on top of and wondered if the reason for his wings slipping out in his sleep was because he had gotten so used Gon's presence his mind was tricked into thinking that if Gon was around he must be safe. Again, he wasn't sure what to make out of that thought. Oh well, he could let it slide this time since there wasn't any danger.

Killua pushed off Gon's wing that he finally noticed was flung over his torso before he laid down and covered himself back up with the blanket. Just as he was about to drift off again he heard a soft fluttering sound before feeling a warm weight settle onto his middle once more. Cracking an eye open the young male looked over to his friend and saw that he had turned over to lay on his stomach. Gon had shoved off the blanket when his wings shifted and stretched out wide again, and was cuddling with Killua's still trapped wing.

Killua sighed fondly and moved around his friend's large wing before finally managing to cover him up again. The white-haired pre-teen settled down once more but before he closed his eyes again he stole one last glance at Gon who was still snoring softly without a care in the world.

As he gazed at his sleeping friend, Killua decided that it wasn't all that bad to be comfortable around Gon and his family.

* * *

"Alright, let's try this again!" Killua announced as he and Gon approached the cliff they had been visiting every day for the past few weeks, his normally excitable friend was lagging behind him and staring at the cliff's ledge as if it had just kicked his dog. "Come on, move it, or lose it!" Killua urged and slipped behind Gon, he pushed him along to go faster until both of them stood at the edge. Killua noticed Gon's lack of reply and frowned slightly as he placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's gonna work this time," He reassured but Gon still didn't look convinced and glanced at Killua before turning his frown towards the edge again, the ex-assassin gently nudged his companion closer the end of the rocky cliff and stood next to the dark-haired male.

Gon looked back to Killua again and gulped deeply and Killua nodded determinedly to which he returned weakly before turning away from his friend and sighing heavily through his nose. The young Hunter then relaxed his tense shoulders as best as he could before letting his wings unfurl fully and stretching them wide nearly brushing against Killua's shoulder despite how much distance he tried to put between them. Gon gave his dark wings two cursory flaps before sending one more glance to his best friend, Killua sighed and shook his head wearing a small smile despite his apparent annoyance.

"Gon, I'm not gonna let you fall," Killua chuckled at his friend's hesitance. They had gone through this at every start of their flying sessions that Killua had begun to drag Gon to after their long talk on their first night on Whale Island. Killua had decided to take upon himself to teach gon how to fly, after thinking over what Gon had told him about his fall he had concluded that the reason Gon was apparently flightless was because of something psychological. He first thought it could have been that Gon was afraid of heights but quickly ruled that possibility out as just a few weeks ago he had seen Gon fearlessly climb tall trees and jump with Killua from a cliff into the water of the shore.

It started with Killua suddenly deciding to shove Gon off of the cliff they stood on now to see if it was true that Gon couldn't fly and was just refusing to do so. Gon, of course, did not appreciate that but was thankful that Killua managed to catch him and bring them safely to the top of the ledge once more.

Killua walked closer to the Enhancer and placed both of his hands on his shoulders with a stern look upon his pale face. "You're not gonna fall, I swear," He spoke lowly before backing up and sending him a sly smirk. "Besides, whenever have I let you hit the ground?" He snarked and folded his arms behind his head as he let his ivory wings stretch wide behind him. Gon frowned and folded his arms over his chest.

"No, but you've threatened to once or twice..." The spiky-haired male grumbled out and faced the edge.

"Only because you wouldn't listen to me," Killua retorted and stepped forward waiting for the other to jump first. Gon stuck his tongue childishly to which Killua chuckled in reply. "Ready?" Gon hesitated again but eventually nodded. 

"Okay, on the count of three,"

Gon put one foot forward and held his weight on his other foot.

"One,"

The nervous boy gulped again and clenched his fists tightly.

"Two,"

_ I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can- _

"Three!"

Gon shoved off of the ledge and stretched his wings wide, the slowed his decent some but that wasn't what he wanted. He struggled to get the feathery limbs to move but they seemed to refuse to obey his command despite being apart of his body. Gon clenched his teeth and closed his eyes tightly as panic and frustration began to set in again, he should've expected this to happen. What made this attempt any different than the last ones, it was never going to be different, it was never going to change.

He wasn't ever going to fly.

"Killua!" He finally called out in defeat and as soon as the name left his lips he felt his friend's grip on him just a split second later. Killua wrapped his thin arms around Gon's torso and pushed hard with his wings stopping their rapid inclination, Killua tightened his hold around the silent male and made his way back to the top of the ledge. 

Killua gently lowered both of them to the ground and stepped in front of Gon to assess the damage, the other male refused to meet his gaze opting to scowl at the floor with a defeated look in his golden eyes. His fists were clenched as well as his jaw and his head hung low. Killua bit his lip before sighing and running a hand through his fluffy hair.

"One more time-"

"I can't do it..." Gon's soft mumble cut Killua off. He froze before his eyes widened and he took a cautious step forward.

"Gon, what do yo-"

"I'm afraid, okay?" Gon suddenly shouted and turned sharply away from Killua so the other couldn't make out what expression the distressed boy could be making. It was silent for a few seconds before Killua decided to speak again.

"Afraid of what?"

Gon didn't reply for a moment and Killua was slightly afraid that he had pushed his friend too far. Killua vaguely wondered if forcing Gon to try to fly was a bad idea after all but couldn't delve into that thought process when his thoughts returned to the problem at hand as he heard the other sharply inhale before breathing out shakily.

"I'm afraid I'll leave like he did," Gon spoke softly and hugged himself gripping his shoulders tightly. "I'm afraid that if I can fly I might leave everyone I care about behind just like Ging did..." Killua tensed as he heard a small sound akin to a sob escape his normally strong-willed friend. "I have so much freedom as it is if I finally get that last bit," He finally turned to face his friend and stared at Killua with watery eyes and a deep frown upon his lips. Killua immediately decided that this expression did not fit Gon and he would fight tooth and nail to keep a smile on his face. "If I finally get up into the air I'm scared I won't want to stay on the ground anymore..."

* * *

Killua woke up and blearily looked around the room, he noticed that the sun had yet to rise and that Gon was nowhere to be found in the small bedroom. Once that fact registered Killua felt his stomach drop and fear bloom in his chest, the ex-assassin hurriedly threw the blankets off of him and scrambled to the door. With the grace of a flopping fish, Killua thundered down the stairs and looked through the rooms in search of a certain black-haired boy. But as he searched through each room and came up empty Killua felt his heartbeat get faster with each empty room, he looked through the kitchen and noticed that not even Mito was present. Killua chalked it up to her not being awake yet and raced to the front door, he yanked it open and bolted out of the house not caring to put his shoes on.

Killua ran into the forest and made his way quickly to the cliff's edge where he and Gon had been the day before. After Gon's outburst, they had decided to head home for the day. Gon had been quiet and reserved for the remainder of the day which concerned Killua and Mito but neither of them thought it best to ask. They knew Gon would bounce back like he always did, except this time Killua wasn't so sure. He threw himself out of the treeline and felt his heart stop when he saw that Gon wasn't there like he had hoped he would. Killua cursed and looked down from the cliff to see if there were any signs that Gon had been here, running around like a headless chicken would take too long so Killua harshly unfurled his wings and the large appendages nearly tore through his tank top but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Killua, nearing a panicked state, launched himself off of the edge of the cliff and quickly took to the skies scanning the ground below him for his friend. He knew that if Gon was saddened he most likely wouldn't want to be around people and therefore wouldn't likely be in town so Killua began to circle the outer edges of the island. His blue eyes scanned every piece of the beach and rock he saw but still came up empty.

Around his fifth time of circling the island he saw him, Killua nearly forgot how to keep himself in the air as relief crashed down on him. He saw Gon standing on the edge of the island that sat a few hundred feet above the crashing waves, he was facing away from Killua so he couldn't see him approaching. Killua was worried about how close Gon was to the edge if he were to fall Killua would be too far away to catch him in time, and if the force of hitting the water wouldn't kill him then he would drown trying to swim in those harsh waves. At the moment that thought crossed his mind he saw Gon take a step forward closer to the edge and Killua pushed himself to go faster.

Another step.

Killua felt as if his heart was going to burst from his ribcage from how hard it was beating.

Another step.

Killua shouted something incomprehensible and pushed his wings to carry him faster, faster, faster-  _ I can't let him fall, I promised him! _

Another step.

Killua neared his friend and just before he was close enough to reach out to the other but fingers clasped nothing but air.

_ Gon jumped. _

Killua crashed into the ground and gasped as the wind was knocked out of his lungs. He laid in a crumpled heap stuck in a painful daze but quickly snapped out of it when he heard the waves crashed against the side of the island. Killua pushed himself off the ground and leaned over the ledge searching for his friend but all he saw was the tangled roots of the island's trees and the seafoam created by the waves. Killua felt tears burn his eyes and his breath hitched.

"Killua!"

The downed male felt the world around him come to a halt and snapped his wide gaze to the sky where the shout had come from. Killua held a hand above his forehead to block the sunlight that burned his eyes.

_ Oh, the sun rose. _

There, in the rapidly brightening sky was Gon clumsily flapping his wings with a wide smile on his face as he looked down at Killua. Killua didn't know how Gon had shot in the air without him seeing it happen but he didn't care either way because Gon was okay! He didn't fall.

"I'm doing it, Killua!" He laughed and did his best to twirl in the air nearly causing himself to nearly fall but he managed to catch himself. "I'm actually doing it!" A small laugh bubbled from Killua's throat and escaped his mouth before he smiled widely at his friend.

"You're crazy, you know that?!" Killua shouted angrily though his smile was still present. Gon threw his head back and laughed loudly, the sound drifted through the salty winds and sounded like tinkling bells.

"I've gotta show Aunt Mito!" Gon suddenly said and shot towards the direction of the house and Killua laughed again before moving to run after him. He stopped after a few steps and looked back at his wings still folded against his back and bit his lip before shaking his head and spreading them wide. He got a running start before jumping into the air and pushing down with his wings, sure enough, he was in the air chasing after Gon.

By the time the neared the house Gon's wings held him up more confidently and each flap was stronger than the last. Now and then he would look over to Killua as he flew beside him and smile widely while letting out a breathless laugh. Gon looked down and noticed Mito was outside looking around, most likely in search of him and Killua. Gon cupped his hands around his mouth and inhaled deeply, Killua reacted quickly and covered his ears.

"Aunt Mito!" Gon shouted at the top of his lungs and Killua winced despite his hands on the sides of his head. The young woman jumped and jerked her head upwards in shock, she squinted up at the sky before her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Gon laughed at her comical expression and dove down to meet her, Mito could only stare as her nephew crashed in front of her before jumping up again with a wild laugh. "I did it! I flew, Aunt Mito!" He exclaimed as he jogged over to her while dusting off his shirt and shorts. "I might have to work on my landing skills later on though..." He chuckled and rubbed the back of his head, he opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off when Mito suddenly pulled him into her chest. He could hear her crying softly and slowly hugged her back but couldn't wipe the wide grin off his face, he knew that Mito wasn't sad. No, he knew she was just as happy as he was. 

"Did you see me, Aunt Mito?" His voice was slightly muffled against the fabric of Mito's dress, the older female answered by tightening her hold on the young boy.

"I did, you were  _ flying _ ..." Mito whispered in awe, she never thought the day would come. Words couldn't explain how happy she was when she noticed that it was  _ Gon _ flying towards her with Killua by his side. Speaking of the other child, Mito looked up and locked gazes with the young male. Killua smiled at his friend and his foster Mother and met Mito's gaze easily but was shocked when she mouth two words to him.

_ Thank you... _

* * *

_ Killua grit his teeth and marched over to his friend before slamming his hands on his shoulders startling the other. _

_ "Listen here," He bit out suddenly feeling very angry, not at Gon but at his douchebag of a father for making his friend feel this way about himself. "What is your name?" He spat and Gon blinked dumbly in silence. _

_ "Killua...?" _

_ "What is your name?" Killua repeated himself cutting off the other's startled question. Gon stared wide-eyed and his friend for another quiet moment before licking his lips and moving to speak again. _

_ "Gon Freecs," He answered simply. _

_ "That's right, You're  _ Gon _ Freescs. Not Ging Freecs," Killua stated emphasizing the names as much as possible. _

_ "I don't get where you're going with this..." Gon muttered with a small confused scowl and Killua rolled his eyes while heaving a long sigh. _

_ "You're not your dad, no matter what people say. Just because you look like him or act a bit like him does not in any way mean that you are him," Killua explained and slid his hands off of Gon's shoulders before stepping back and crossing his arms over his chest. "The fact that you're worried about leaving people behind proves you're nothing like him, do you think he thought about how it would affect you when he left you here? Or your aunt?" The ex-assassin continued and Gon could only listen in silence as words continued to fail him. "Sure doesn't seem that way," He grumbled and sighed while he let his arms fall before tucking his hands into his pockets. _

_ "That's not the point though," Killua gazed at his friend with a firm but soft gaze. "You care about people Gon, sure you may be a bit pig-headed sometimes and may get a bit selfish but who doesn't?" Gon felt a lump begin to form in his throat and swallowed thickly. _

_ "You guys aren't the same..." _

* * *

Killua heaved himself onto the crow's nest of the ship he and Gon had recently boarded and gazed out at the open sea. After taking a moment to appreciate its beauty, Killua looked over to the other boy next to him. Gon stared in the direction of Whale Island that had now fully disappeared from his sight with a content smile on his face. Killua marveled at how happy the other had become after he had managed to fly on his own, he no longer would gaze longingly up at the sky with a frown of a scowl when Killua ordered him to show him his wings so that the other could groom them. Gon was content with himself and that alone made Killua happy.

"Hey, Gon?" Killua asked softly but the ocean breeze sent his voice straight to his partner who hummed softly in response and turned to face him.

"Yeah?"

"What's it like to fly?" He asked and Gon blinked in confusion before a large closed-lip smile overtook his face, his amber eyes lit up like the sun itself.

"It's amazing..."

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it! What didja think?! Let me know in the comments feedback is greatly appreciated. Please pardon any mistakes I may have overlooked because grammerly can only do so much. XD
> 
> I was kinda afraid that I made Killua and Gon's relationship to intimate in this because I was only on the Yorknew Arc in the anime when I started writing this but then I got through the Greed Island arc and was all like man what the heck was I worrying about?! But seriously though, these boys relationship is so precious and cute and I loved seeing them grow and interact with each other. This series is just so good and these child need love.


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